Perfect Peace

My husband and I are looking for a new dishwasher. As we look at model after model and compare bells to bells and whistles to whistles, I always find myself extremely overwhelmed, so I run from the uncertainty; I either just want to make a choice immediately, so I do not have to agonize over weighing the options that just seem to confuse me, or I do not buy a dishwasher at all, preferring to do the dishes the old-fashioned way over being forced to consider the choice. This is not a new problem for me, but it amazes me how something that is intended to make our lives easier drives me to such a place of anxiety and worry.  If a dishwasher purchase can so quickly rob me of peace, imagine what happens to me when there are actual, difficult challenges in my life. Peace has always been a difficult state for me to hold. My mind is constantly bombarded with an incessant myriad of thoughts; some golden and hopeful and some very dark, that are just lies straight from the pit of hell.  If I am pressed too hard when I am in this mental state, my insecurities breach my surface as defensiveness, anger, and irritability.  Since I work to suppress my anger and hot-headedness, that anger can be bottled up too long and I become mired in bitterness. 

Jesus, the Prince of Peace, died for me to have reconciliation with God. I know that I live in peace with God, so what is wrong with me that I struggle so much to dwell in a state of peace and tranquility? Is it a lack of faith? For years, I have tried to understand myself. What drives this unease within me, and I’ve come to the realization that, at its core, is fear. With so many options before me, how do I know what the right decision is? How do I control the favorable outcome I want, when deep down I know I control nothing? The worst outcome imaginable for me is failing. If I make the wrong decision, I fail and miss the mark of perfection that I, all too easily, strive toward.  When I fix my thoughts on Jesus, I remember that He is the shepherd who guides me to peace. Psalm 23:1-3 “The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.”

Chaos, uncertainty, anger, and weariness are emotions I feel when I focus on myself and what I lack. I feel out of control and chaotic when I fix my mind on the barrage of lies being hurled at me. I feel uncertain when I fix my mind on the unknown and what unfavorable things could happen. I feel anger when I blame you and I fix my mind on our differences. I feel weariness when I fix my mind on my situation and how I will fix it. A peace, from God, that is perfect and surpasses understanding is available to us when we keep our mind fixed on Christ. Isaiah 26:3 “You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” It is not a façade of peace that comes from denying our difficulties or running from our struggles, it is a peace that guards our hearts and minds when we run straight to

him and hand the worries and the struggles over to him, and make the conscious decision to focus our mind on the pure, lovely, and commendable promises of God. Philippians 4:6-8 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”. As I battle the fear of failure, there is something so comforting in remembering that there is nothing that I can mess up so badly that God cannot turn it to good. Romans 8:28 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” As I battle feeling out of control, I take comfort in knowing that Jesus has overcome the evils of the world. John 16:33 “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”